


Rule 29: The Buddy System

by xxx_mlggamer_xxx



Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Inspired by Zombieland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7545625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxx_mlggamer_xxx/pseuds/xxx_mlggamer_xxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of unconnected instances of friendship between Merritt McKinney and Daniel Atlas.<br/>Inspired by quotes from Zombieland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule 29: The Buddy System

 

**Tallahassee: Here's the deal, Columbus...huh Im not easy to get along with and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch**

To think that the Horsemen got along the moment they met would be equivalent to the delusions of a madman.

There was the fact that Jack was a massive fanboy, and Danny and Merritt didn’t need their egos stroked. There was the fact that Danny was a control freak and Merritt went with the flow. There was the fact that none of them had any money or any real idea of what was happening.

But the real kicker was the history between Danny and Henley -which seemed to rub everyone the wrong way. Because apparently not only did Danny _not_ want to be with her, he also didn’t want her to be with anyone _else._

Ridiculous.

And so the four found themselves in a car, driving into the middle of nowhere - the blueprints had promised supplies and more extensive plans, but all of them had their doubts.

Merritt, in particular, figured that if the Eye existed, he would have been recruited a long time ago. He wasn’t exactly a spring chicken, was he?

Somehow he had ended up in the passenger seat while Danny had taken the wheel, driving with the focus only someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder could manage.

“So, Danny-boy,” Merritt was slightly gratified to see Danny tense up.

“It’s Daniel”

“What do you think we’re gonna find out there?” He added a friendly punch to set an especially chummy mood.

Danny didn’t take his eyes off the road, but he flinched away, and his mouth had twisted into something in between a scowl and a grimace. “How about we don’t do a ... touching thing? And I don’t know - I thought you were the one with the mind-tricks.”

They hadn’t started off on the right foot. First there had been their introductions (“ _I’m sensing you’re a bit of a control freak.” “Have we met before?”_ ), and then Merritt had taken up the hobby of lightly flirting with Henley. He saw it as a way to pass the time and get to know his fellow horsemen. Danny saw it as a power move.

Merritt turned the radio to a rock station. Danny’s eyes actually flitted over to him before he changed it to a classical one.

There was no way this in Hell was going to work.

 

**Tallahassee: Time to nut up or shut up!**

“Look, you wanted everyone to treat you like an adult - well, it’s time you started acting like one.”

      Merritt and Henley winced at each other even as they were disposing of the evidence. Sure, they all had faith in their plan (Danny especially, he was the one who had orchestrated it), but sometimes their front man was a little rough around the edges.

      Jack was about to fake his own death - he had the right to freak out a little.

      Danny seemed to finally notice the way Jack tensed up, and he sighed, letting his shoulders sag ever so slightly.

      “Hey,” He placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder and the Henley and Merritt actually stopped what they were doing for a second to gape.

      Danny did _not_ like casual human contact - he fliched when someone sat down _next_ to him, he didn’t return high fives or shake hands (Merritt had once asked him about sex - Danny was a bit of a playboy, after all. He had simply replied that “sex is different”, and that had been the end on that conversation.). He would be the last person to engage in touching somebody else.

But here he was, reaching a tentative hand out to Jack.

“Hey, hey, I know it’s kind of freaky, but we will be in complete control the whole time.” Jack looked like he wanted to believe him. “I always know what’s going on behind the scenes.”

Blink and you missed it, because as quickly as it started, it was gone, and Danny was shoving the blueprints he was holding into Jack’s hands before chucking some more into the fireplace.

There was an awkward silence, which was pretty amazing considering the fact that they were all frantically busy with their tasks and the police were after them and they didn’t have _time_ to have the social wherewithalls of a bunch of home-schooled parakeets.

“Yeah, kid. It’s time to nut up or shut up!”

Wow, he immediately regretted saying that.    

“What?!?” Henley sounded halfway between exasperated and amazed at what just came out of Merritt’s mouth.       

“Time to -- what?” Danny actually stopped in his _tracks_ trying to decipher what Merritt had said.

Jack just laughed - of course he would, the twerp.

“Let’s forget I ever said that and just move on, okay?” Merritt said as he rushed to the door.

“Over my dead body!!” Jack yelled as the three left him in the apartment, the door slamming shut behind them. They tried not to think about the implications there.

**Columbus:** **Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else's story?**

 **Tallahassee: No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.**

“Okay, everyone, I would say drinks on me - but - as we have previously established, I have no money, so -” Merritt didn’t bother finishing his sentence as he toasted his drink to no one in particular and  took a massive swig.

      Danny rolled his eyes so hard Henley and Jack were surprised he didn’t somehow pull a muscle - but they all toasted their own drinks, nonetheless.

      After all, they had just pulled off the greatest magical heist of the century (and probably of all time - how many magical heists can you name?) - they could relax for the night - maybe even get a little buzzed.

More like a little hammered.

Okay - _a lot_ hammered.  

      It was only about an hour later when Henley suggested they make their way back home - and the four drunkenly stumbled back to their crappy little apartment - and pulled out all the beers from their crappy little refrigerator, and “Apples to Apples” from their closet (coincidentally, also crappy and little), sitting in a wobbly circle on the floor.

      When Danny took one look at the card he had and actually _giggled_ (a bit manically), the other horsemen’s heads seemed to move in a synchronized swivel toward him.

      “Mark Zuckerberg.” He flipped the card around for the others to see.

      “Oh yeah - you - you used to look _just_ like him.” Henley laughed to herself before flipping out her phone to show Jack and Merritt a picture.

      Danny brought an unsteady finger to the side of his nose and tapped it. “Yep.” He laughed a little to himself before going on - “Funny story - one time, this guy he like....” _what was the word there?_ “Catapulted himself at me - - thought maybe I was Mark Zuckerberg..”

      Jack was listening in rapt attention, while Merritt was taking some time to look at the picture Henley brought up (“Daaaaamn.” “Right? Especially since Danny use to have curly hair..” which was a whole other can of worms). _Was Jack even old enough to legally drink?_ Probably didn’t matter - they were already international criminals.

      “So he brought me to this massive _gala_ , and it was like two _hours_ before he even caught on.” He giggled again and sniffed a little. “It was crazy - there was --”

      “Okay, but have i ever told you the story about how I hypnotized Bill Murray?”

      Danny scowled at the interruption while Henley and Jack’s attention immediately turned to Merritt (both with wide eyed stares and similar “What??” exclamations) - who gave a smug smile in return.

      Apparently, back in his glory days, Merritt had the chance to perform, with his brother, for some big Hollywood event - and Bill Murray had been a more than willing subject - and he convinced the actor that he was living in a zombie apocalypse.

      “No. _Way._ ” Henley’s jaw dropped while Jack doubled over himself, cackling. “You. Did. _Not_.”

      Danny huffed. Sure, it was an impressive story and all - but it was no parent-trap scenario with with the inventor of Facebook at a multi- _million_ dollar _gala_.

Then it clicked.     

“Wait, wait, wait.” Danny pressed his fingertips against his eyes, trying to collect his thought process. “Is this just, what you do? Are you one of those guys who always tries to one-up everyone else’s stories?”

Henley was about to scold him - she got that look on her face that Danny knew all too well - but Merritt beat her to the punch.

“Whaaaaat?” The way he elongated the vowel made Danny grind his teeth. “Nah, man!” He scoffed, swaying loosely. “I knew a guy _way_ worse at that than me!!”

Danny nodded for a moment, but stopped halfway through as he processed what exactly Merritt had said.

Jack and Henley had taken to hyena-levels of laughter again, and Danny couldn’t help but join in this time. After all, as obnoxious as this dick was, they had all been through so much together. Danny could deal with his stupid stories for a little while longer.

 

 **Tallahassee: Have you ever read that book "She's Just Not That Into You"?**

“I guess you can’t teach an _old_ dog new tricks, can you gramps?”

      “Ha, Ha, with the old man jokes again. Look - I may be no spring chicken, but at least I don’t need to skip school to hang out with the cool kids.”

      Hanging out with Jack was nice, Merritt thought. He figured that having a 19 year old kid in the group would be exhausting - especially when this kid in particular had been a “massive fan” of the others. Turns out it was pretty nice, though - he knew how to hang, and he was even open for teaching Merritt some cool sleight of hand stuff.

      And sure, maybe the two were hanging out just to avoid the tension that had been building between their resident turtle doves, but that was just one more thing the two had in common.

      “Okay - it’s getting late - we should get back.” Merritt bent down to pick up all the cards he had failed to throw.

      “Yeah - it’s what, ten?? You should have been asleep five hours ago.”

      “Okay, look buster - I may be old, but I can still kick your ass.”

      There was no actual heat behind Merritt’s words, though. There never was - even if the kid was a loon.

     

“Okay - put your clothes back on, guys, We’re comin’ in!!” Merritt yelled as he worked the door open.

      But the room was silent - Merritt didn’t even hear a jab from Daniel.

      So, a fight.

      “Danny? Henley? We’re ho- woah.”

      Merritt literally ran into Jack as the younger had stopped abruptly in the hallway. The kid wasn’t too tall, so Merritt was able to look over him and see the state of the living room for himself and -

      Woah was right.

      The coffee table was practically upturned - the magazines it had been housing were scattered everywhere,  and the vase that Henley made sure to always fill with fresh flowers (something about a feminine touch?) was shattered on the floor.

      A _bad_ fight.

      Henley’s door was wide open - and her room looked like a hurricane had swept through. Her dressers were significantly lacking in the clothes department - and the suitcase she kept under her bed was gone.

      Daniel’s door was closed.

      A _really. Bad._ Fight.

      Merritt tried the handle. Locked. Of course. Luckily, these things were so easy to spring even Merritt could do it, and in no time, the door was creaking open.

      Merritt motioned for Jack to stay back, and he looked almost relieved at the order. The poor kid looked so out of his element.

      Daniel’s precious cards lay scattered across the floor - some of them were in pieces. His dresser mirror was shattered. Merritt found Daniel squeezed in the space in between his bed and his desk, curled up against the wall with his head in his hands. He looked so... small.

J. Daniel Atlas was big, and cocky, and arrogant, and, frankly a bit of a dick. He wasn’t small or nervous, and he certainly didn’t have feelings.

      For the first time, Merritt didn’t know what to say. This was more than likely Daniel’s fault - it didn’t take a mentalist to see how emotionally constipated the kid was - but he didn’t need blame right now.

      He needed comfort.

      He needed Henley.

      But as far as Merritt knew, Henley could be halfway across the country. So he sat down heavily on the bed and said nothing. _The Hermit_. He was used to telling people how they felt - as amazing of an observer as he was, he never had to really _listen_ to people. He was a con-artist. He wasn’t a therapist.

      After a while, Daniel’s hoarse whisper brought the two men from their silent states.

      “She’s gone.”

      Merritt didn’t know what to say to that. Because yes, _she was gone. Probably forever. And yes, Danny-boy, it was partially your fault. But hey - maybe it was partially my fault, maybe a little bit Dylan’s fault._

_Probably not Jack’s fault. That kid was too damn innocent._

      So he sighed on the bed, and looked to the ceilings.

      “She’s gone.”

      Daniel didn’t hold up too well for the next couple days. He didn’t leave his room - and Merritt found himself in a position he never could have seen coming - a housekeeper.

      Merritt and Jack would take turns sitting outside Daniel’s door, just making sure that he was okay as he could possibly be. Merritt would listen to Jack worry about what was going to happen next. He told Dylan what happened over the phone. He texted Henley to make sure she was okay and offered to mail her her things.

      -- Is he okay? --

      Of course. He breaks her heart, twice now, and she still cared.

      -- He will be. --

     

      And, one day, Daniel came out of his room acting as if nothing had changed, and went out, and came back with a haircut and a brand new deck of cards.

      And maybe he wasn’t quite “okay” (no matter what kind of front he put on, he couldn’t fool Merritt), but it was improvement, and that’s more than Merritt could ask for.

 

 

**Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so, uh, that'll do, pig.**

**Columbus:** **That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard, and you stole it from a movie**

“Hey Atlas, I just want you to know -”

      “Okay, just stop.” Merritt smirked as Atlas held up a hand as if to literally stop the other’s words. “You do this every time. How about this time, we just go on stage like two normal criminal magicians?”

      Daniel Atlas was a man of rituals - he went through the same steps when he got up in the morning and when he went to bed at night. He would obsessively practice in a very specific order, he would only eat his food a certain way - it’s just the way his mind worked.

      Merritt figured, as everything else in Atlas’ life, it was about control.      

      And, after living with Atlas for a couple years, something rubbed off on Merritt, and the older man started a few of his own rituals.

      And they were all at the expense of Atlas.

      One of his favorites (and, therefore Atlas’s least favorite), was saying goodbye before every performance - just in case something went wrong.  

      It started with the end of the ‘year of living dangerously’ ( _“When I first met you, I thought you were kind of a.... Dick.” “That’s very nice. I’m touched.”),_ and it had just sort of... evolved from there.

     

      He wasn’t sure why he did it, really. Just to bug the younger man (it had become one of Merritt’s life passions), he thought.

      But after Henley left, the air was icy between them, and maybe Merritt just wanted to lighten the mood. Maybe both of them needed something to distract them from the fact that it was just going to be them two on stage - until Dylan had the chance to formally plan Jack’s resurrection.

      “Danny,” he had started, that first show after everything went wrong.

      “Don’t call me that.”

      “I just want you to know...”

      Atlas had looked at him with an expression that asked _Where is this going and do I even want to know_ , and Merritt had gripped both of his shoulders and shook him gently, struggling to keep a straight face while looking at Atlas’s, which was a priceless mix of confusion and disgust.

      “It’s always been you!!”

      Then the confusion slid off of Atlas’s face, and it was replaced by a look of _Are you serious._

      “What is wrong with you?”   He had pried Merritt’s hands off of his shoulders, and turned away with a sigh and a shake of his head.

      But his posture was looser, and he smirked when he thought that Merritt wasn’t watching.

      But now, they were about to go on stage for Octa; they were just waiting on Lula to get back from whatever impromptu amputation she had cooked up (that girl was nuts).

Merritt slung his arm around Altas, pulling him close.

“That’ll do, pig.”

Atlas just scoffed and pushed Merritt off of him. “That was definitely the worst one yet - and you stole it from a movie.”

“Aww, you know you love me.”

“Shut up.” Atlas went back to fidgeting and fixing the places where Merritt had wrinkled his suit.

And while Lula came behind them, saying something about picturing one another naked ( _Nooo thank you, the gender ration was definitely skewed in the wrong direction, there)_ , and Merritt and Atlas took the last chance to quip that they could before they had to rush out on stage, the two magicians both noticed that Atlas had never actually denied it.

 

**Tallahassee: Hey, a little help with movin' the couch. We're makin' a fort.**

      “This is ridiculous and childish. I just want you to know that.”

      “You know what I want to know? How you move around so much - with that stick up your ass.”

      “Ha Ha. Very funny. Back to that thing I was talking about - you know, maturity? You’re probably not familiar with it, with is strange considering the fact -”

      “Okay,” Jack interrupted while he dragged another blanket into the living room. “Not only is this getting out of hand, it’s getting weirdly long winded.”

“Yeah,” Lula laughed from where she was propping up couch cushions.  “C’mon, Atlas - why can’t you just accept the fact that we’re four completely normal adults making a completely normal kick-ass fort.”

      It started as a totally normal Saturday night – and Atlas was looking forward to a nice night of reading and maybe a little exploring around the observatory. But then there had been a frantic knock on his door, and in burst Lula and Jack, who were declaring that they were going to build a fort.

“Good for you.” Had been his response.

He hadn’t realized that ‘they’ apparently meant _all of them._

      He had started to reach to Merritt for support on how ridiculous all of this was (they were adults - or so they had convinced the rest of the world, Atlas still had his doubts), but then he remembered that Merritt had the mental outlook on life of a six year old boy with ADHD.

      On the other hand, Merritt himself was surprised that the resident lovebirds had managed to rope Atlas into Lula’s crazy ‘family bonding’ activities. Sure, he was sitting at the kitchen table and alternating between complaining about the immaturity of his fellow magicians and pointing out design flaws in their fort, but he was there.

      “C’mon, Danny, live a little!!” Jack probably hadn’t meant to call him ‘Danny’, it just slipped out, but -

      “If this is your definition of ‘living’,” Atlas made jerky finger quotes. “Then I’m not sure I want to.”

      And they moved on.

      And Merritt knew that he wasn’t the only one who noticed the slip-up. He knew that Atlas caught it, and _let it slide_.

     

      And, the next day, even if he woke up on the floor, under a ceiling of drooping blankets, with an aching back and cursing Jack and Lula, who were still young and therefore able to evade the pains of age, Merritt didn’t regret a single thing from the night before.

      Because Atlas, who had left the group to sleep in his own bed for the night, was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, and he had poured extra mug for Merritt.

 

**Columbus (In reference to Tallahassee): You get used to it.**

**Wichita: Really?**

**Columbus: No. It gets worse.**

      “They’re cute, but almost _disgustingly_ so, am I right?”

      Danny flinched as Merritt sat down heavily (a little too) close to him on the couch without warning. The older man was, of course, referring to Lula and Jack, who were giggling over a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

      “It’s like Jackie-boy has completely changed or something - like, who does that?” Merritt’s face twisted into a look of mock-disgust and Jack went to plant a sloppy kiss on Lula’s cheek. Danny had a similar expression (but there was nothing fake about his).

      “So, Danny...” Danny almost didn’t want to turn his attention to Merritt. “Looks like it’s just the two of us now.” Merritt nudged Danny with his elbow, and chuckled as the younger man scooted away in a fashion that was anything but subtle. “Two old men.”

      Danny scoffed. “Speak for yourself, McKinney.”

      “Any argument you might have is made totally invalid by that haircut, and those glasses.”

      Danny had taken to wearing reading glasses with thin rectangle frames when not on stage. Even if they weren't _Buffy_ level lenses, they still brought out the totally dork-side of Danny that he had not doubt been trying (and failing) to hide since high school.

      Danny huffed and rolled his eyes (although he whipped off the glasses and ran a self-conscious hand through his short hair).

      “Hey, hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed about - at least you’ve still got hair to style.” Merritt laughed to himself. “You and me, we aren’t too different, are we?”

      Danny didn’t respond (just shook his head, sighed, and looked to the ceiling as if calling upon some greater deity to strike Merritt down), but that was okay - Merritt wasn’t really expecting anything. It was early in the morning - when Danny always seemed to be more moody than normal (which is saying _a lot_ ) - so Merritt just clapped the other’s knee before getting up to get them both coffee.

     

Meanwhile, Lula leaned into Jack, laughing and whispering into his ear.

      “They’re like the two old guys in the park who just sit there and yell at pigeons.”

      Jack smiled, and agreed. “Hey, you get used to them.”

      “Really?” Lula looked at him with a look and spoke in a tone that said _There is no way in Hell_.

      “Yeah, no.” Jack laughed, looking over at where Atlas moved the magazine pile on the coffee table a _little further to the right_ , and to where Merritt was humming some obscure song to himself as he poured coffee into two mugs, not caring when some spilled onto the countertops. “They get worse.”


End file.
